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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ® eSmo
here
been a long time since i had anything good to blog about so i refrained from blogging but here i am again.
just went out with donn and clare today. been ages, and i do mean ages since i last saw them both. we caught a movie and dinner. well, we caught a movie then donn had to leave because of something.
the myth is an excellent movie. it has all the typical jackie film essence with a little history mixed in it. heh, enough spoilers i guess. =P
the LIVE music at fish and co ain't that~ nice. it ain't as nice as i expected it to be. the guitar was alright. maybe it was the the whole sound/hi-fi system that didn't bring out the singer's full potential.
anyway, i just hope to do these kinda things more often. don't get to see my friends as much as i would love to already.
well, that's all for now. =)
just came home from a walk in the rain. it's been years since i did that. i remember i was still in secondary school when i last pulled something like that. a lot has happened in the past few days, just thought a nice little walk might clear my head. just like the last time i took a walk.
the last time was quite a long walk. kept walking on that long stretch of road, trying to fix my own feelings, due to pauline incidents. but that walk was on a bright sunny day. there was rain today but it felt a bit small. i didn't really get soaking wet but it felt good when the rain kept hitting down on me, little by little. and she ain't involved this tome round. haven't really heard from her recently.
oh ya, mitchell replied to my good morning msg yesterday at 1am+. after 14 or so hours. still, i'm glad he replied. at least he ain't dead.
i think he's mad at me for showing his blog to someone else. but WTF was i supposed to do back then? see him die? heck, maybe i did overreact but i'd rather him be mad at me for life then to see him go like that. i just thought i could get his house address from one of his old friends. even if i couldn't make a valid report, i could go down there myself to stop him. he didn't really believe me so i had to give him some proof. ends up he didn't know his address either.
called my friend who work's down at the station. told him the situation and all. asked if toa payoh was under his area of duty. he said yes but he didn't report it to his superiors. why? he told me afterwards that he can't have his fellow officers rush out for a wild goose chase. he'll get a good scolding. understandable. lucky mitch turned out to be ok. if not i would have lost 2 good friends in 1 night.
never really believed in god, let alone prayed to him. but that night, i did. F, i looked up to the ceiling, praying in my heart, wishing he'd be alright. don't know what came over me. but i did what i did. didn't have anyone else i could turn to for help. now when i look back at it, i can't help but laugh. still, he didn't do it so i thanked god.
oh and grandma's in the hospital now. doctor says it ain't pretty. looking back, my grandmother took real good care of me. giving me the bigger piece of the cake everytime. makes my sister really jealous though. she was quite the bias grandparent. but she was at loggerheads with my father and wasn't really good to my mom either. but we're a family. my mom's been taking really good care of her. me... haven't really done anything i deem to be special. but yet she still sing praises of me from the little things i do to my mom.
am going to the hospital to see her later in the afternoon. i would have made her porridge or soup myself but, she can hardly swallow with no appetite at all.
ok, went to partyworld again. sang my heart out. pretty much enjoyed myself. had to rush home because my grandmother is being hospitalised and all but i couldn't hail a cab at town so, took the normal way home instead. nothing too big, dont needa worry guys.
so i came home and decided to play some games and i heard from mitch. he startled me with a nick "it ends tonite". fuck man! and then he started saying some stupid polite stuff, thanking me and shit! i was like "i can't let him die!" spent about an hour trying to convince him to stop this stupid idea, using every means i could think of. nothing got through to him. am still trying to stop him. he says he's out smoking right now... am on the phone with elizae trying to work things out and think of ways to stop him.
man! dont die on my watch!
ok, i think i've finally lost it. have just gone from eccentric to insane. thinking about too much, snapping at people, namely family. the worst part is i can't tell right from wrong as clearly as i used to. damn, needa see a shrink soon. nobody knows my troubles nor my pains.
er... for the star wars lovers, i think i'm crossing over to the dark side... hahaha!
ok, i know some bozos are gotta make use of this post and crap away, but i couldn't care less.
you don't know anything. c'mon! how well do you know me? you know nothing of my standards, the way i choose to live, the things i do, the hurting i've been through. you know nothing! do i even know you?
ok, i know more of that shit than you do. the so called philosophies of life. so save it. just don't talk as if you know me like the back of your hand. and keep the so called advice to yourself. what may work for you may not work for others. make sense?
oh boy. some people really have nothing better to do. honestly, i thank you for taking the time and posting a tag here, but...
anyway~ i'd choose a friend to be someone who'd share my pain and touch my wound with a warm and tender hand over someone who'd only give advice(crap), possible solutions or cures. in a heartbeat.
like i said, it's all eaiser said than done. and face it, nobody knows it like me. or rather no third person would understand. so no offence, but save it.
awww... advice. how touching. but it's all easier said than done, no? besides, i keep thinking the advice you gave is for gals chasing guys. the other way round don't work. i've leanred that the hard way. or maybe i was unlucky. it ain't that easy, at least not as easy as it seems to be. gals can be pretty hard hearted and realistic.. very realistic for some. i never wanted to believe that but i dunno anymore. but really, thanks.
anyway, went back to np the other day. didn't see any old friends. their day was already over, i guess. went back to deliver a book to a friend. normally, i wouldn't bother to especially go back to school just to give something to someone, and i aint even selling it for money. ha. but it's a promise and i don't break my word. told her i'd be a phone's call away and i meant it. also said i'd reserve them french books for her so you can pretty much say i asked for it. =P
saw that pri school gal i was talking about again. she seems sweeter up close. heh. she happened to drop by and patronise. she was with her mum so i didn't start a conversation with her. doubt i would have started anything even if she was alone. maybe next time, i'll gather all my courage and talk to her.
it's really amazing how people can be so irritating. seems like he/she got nothing better to do then to drop by my blog and try to upset me. interesting... childish, but interesting... as far as the saying goes. sticks and stones can break my bones, but words... well your words can never hurt me.
get a life.
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